Welcome, wondering wayfarer and weary wanderer.
Salutations and joyous greetings, for to read this note is to mean that you still follow my ever shifting, yet repetitive, train of thought. If you don’t always follow the train, at least you are attempting to follow the tracks thereof. If even the tracks are too hidden, follow the footprints, for I often lose my train and have to go find it again myself.
As much as I enjoy my time here, I find myself feeling more and more worn and spent as the days go on. My usually high patience and tolerance levels are getting nearer to the brink of breaking. Sometimes I think my concern for others and/or compassion is not as prominent as it once was. I shall refrain from saying I feel like “butter scraped over too much bread.” However, I will attest to needing a long holiday. Not permanent (as much as I would or would not wish it so), just long enough to rejuvenate my being. After being enveloped in this foreign society for such an extended period of time, I need time to refocus.
It’s hard to believe that it has already been nearly an entire school year.
Crazy! Impossible! Yet true.
So much has happened in what feels has been a short time.
I’ve made more friends that I ever thought was humanly possible. I have faced challenges I refused to believe would ever exist.
In some instances, I took a leap of faith. In others, I firmly held my ground. Still others, (more than I would care to admit) I hovered over a choice, too afraid to fly and too stubborn to stay down.
In the end, I want to be able to say that I helped the many people I came in contact with, I went beyond what was asked of me, and I put forth my best effort in everything I put my hand to.
When I look back though, all I can really say is that I only did what was asked of me. There were a few times when I went the extra half a mile, perhaps even the full mile, to help a friend or even someone I knew would most likely not repay me (though I hoped they would, thus kept track of it anyway). I will be the first to admit fault, though the last to vocalize it. Perhaps I am too hard on myself.
Ah well, come, come, tis time for more lively talk.
Finals are just around the corner, but the last few weeks have been packed with more than school requirements. Some of you may yet know that I have had an ear infection in both ears for the past three weeks. The first week I pretty much ignored the irritation and assumed it to be due to the cold I had. Soon enough, the cold disappeared in importance as the pain in my ears was robbing me of music, peace, and sleep. Apparently I can be surpassingly stubborn. Finally being persuaded to see the doctor, I was given medication (not before nearly passing out and accidentally breaking a vase, but tis a story for another time) and a doctor’s note for the two classes I missed. I do believe one of the more prominent thoughts during that time was, “So this is what lightheadedness feels like. I don’t like it.” The next week, I went back and found that the infection was still there, thus was prescribed stronger antibiotics. Thankfully, the last time I went back, he said that the infection had cleared up significantly and unless the symptoms returned, I did not have to see him again. Oddly enough, I’ve been twice as quiet as I normally am in this period of time. Ah well, silence is my strong suit anyway.
Hmm, that paragraph did not sound as lighthearted as I had hoped. Let’s try again.
Last weekend, I watched the Shakespearean play “The Taming of the Shrew” and its successor, “The Woman’s Prize.” I heartily agreed to write an article for the newspaper on the play. A few of my friends were in the play, thus making the information gathering process that much easier and the play that much more enjoyable to watch. In fact, I watched the play twice. The second time I went was the last time it was to be performed. After the performance, the actors were to stay and take down the set. Once I heard whoever was in charge mention that they needed people to grab drills, I promptly asked him if I could help. His hesitance was obvious (he asked me if I was incompetent, for crying out loud :P ), though I still managed to get my hands on a drill and start unscrewing what must have been a thousand screws holding the set together. Others had drills as well, of course. I cannot tell you enough how much I had missed working with wood and power tools. The last time I had done any significantly big project with wood was when I helped my father make a waterbed frame quite a few years ago. After the set was completely dismantled, the group was off to waffle house for a cast party. I got to go with them. ^_^
Then earlier this week, I met with a Bible teacher to discuss creating a field lab for when I go home. I can now get credit hours by helping the church back home. Of course, tis more technical than that. Some requirements include a daily journal, a 2-3-page book review, and a 5-7-page paper on the history of the church in Ukraine. This will help me gain credit hours for future reference, but more importantly, I’m hoping it will help me grow spiritually. By forcing myself to step outside my comfort zone, I will now grab hold of opportunities that I would normally let pass by.
People ask why I would do such a thing. Of course, they also ask what I’m going to do with my Computer Science degree. Sometimes I wish people could see the world the way I see it. Nay, there have been many times I wished such. For one thing, it would make my having to explain the “odd” things I do less tedious. Here is where the lack of patience part comes in. Where once before I would joyfully explain things, now tis to the point that I have to keep myself from becoming frustrated with the onslaught of questions. I enjoy questions, I truly do. Even the repetitive ones, they give me a chance to say the same thing several different ways and watch people’s reactions. But with some people, I find myself mentally screaming at them to stop. Tis a very nerve wrecking experience. In one instance, I want people to be more inquisitive, yet at the same time, I wish they would leave me alone. I am obviously not an extrovert.
Ack, I stumbled upon yet another stress relieving rant. My apologies. Let us continue on the positive path.
This weekend was eventful. Last night, I attended a formal banquet at the Hard Rock café with GTO, the insane Makin’ Music club I did the show with (by the by, I included a video of our performance below). After dinner, they gave out awards to various members of the club. Then today, I attended a Ladies’ Day one of the congregations in the area was hosting. The theme was “A worry free life,” a much-needed lesson by the looks of this post. The speaker had been working in Haiti for the past 15 years. Her example and lesson on how we should give our troubles and worries to God are a good reminder of what I’m really here for. Later today, GTO hosted FHU’s first ever Quidditch tournament. Yes, you read that right. The purpose in having a Quidditch tournament was to raise money for one of the local elementary schools.
Next weekend, I am participating in a walk to raise money to help Japan. I’ve been part of the planning committee for this walk for the past month. The goal is to raise $15,000 and the walk takes place May 7th. We’ve handed out fliers, made posters, written newspaper articles, and made chapel announcements for the event. This event is in collaboration with Soles4Souls, so people can donate shoes if they want, though this effort is really a push to send financial help.
And just because I’m a team player, feel free to check out the site. Donate if you wish, I promise not to hunt you down and give you poisoned cookies if you don’t (that’s EDJ’s job).
So, as you can very well see, there have been plenty of ups and downs in the last few weeks.
I’m sure there is much more to come, especially with finals and finally going home for some. To those who have helped my through this stressful time, I only hope I have not been too intolerable in return. If I have, you only have to put up with me for a couple more weeks. I shall return to my cheerfully optimistic self when I get home.
Until then…
Always Hope.
