Bah, I really couldn’t decide between using several different songs. Everything ranging from Don’t Fear the Reaper to Europa crossed my mind. I eventually settled on writing three semi-scattered sections with three songs.
Ah well, for those of you who can actually listen to the music on here, you can stay and listen to it all you like, I will warn you though I have a song for every shade of color on the spectrum. Consider this blue/grey to red. It won’t be for long though. Who knows, the next one might be pink… *wrinkles nose* A very dignified shade of pink, mind you. None of that candy coated stuff.
*ahem*
Anyway…
There’s always a melancholic sort of peace listening to soviet funeral music. It’s as if this last glorious musical piece is to somehow annul the physical loss. Everyone in the neighborhood can hear the brass playing at the funeral, especially since the funerals are conducted right outside the apartment entrance. I woke up this morning to the melodic sound. It’s somewhat ironic, being awoken from the dead of sleep by the music being played at someone else’s funeral.
*pokes EDJ* I somehow blame you for the irony >_>
I’ve always found the phrase in this song “die for anyone” intriguing.
Probably because of my... habit… of wanting to help people with their problems. If someone’s sick, hurting, angry, sad, I want to be there for him or her. Regardless of the cost or damage I may or may not receive, I want to help them and I will do everything in my power to help them.
I’m still trying to find my place in this world. At least, that’s what I find myself thinking. Then I have to stop and admit there is no place for me here. I don’t belong here. WE don’t’ belong here. It’s that simple. This is not our home. At least, not permanently.
I grew up with a very different way of life. One in which I am ever so grateful for. I cannot express how deeply thankful I am for my parents and the way they reared me.
Back to my point though, this is the only life I know. It’s the only life I’m fully capable of living and it’s only natural that I would want to follow it.
But sometimes, the sneaking little suspicion that maybe this isn’t that path I’m supposed to follow shows itself. Maybe I’m supposed to be doing something else. Though this doubt is usually eradicated swiftly with the knowledge that I’m already doing what I should be doing. But then I’m reminded that no living person knows what the future holds. Which just brings me full circle. In the meantime, I do what I do best. Whether that is helping with plumbing, sawing through drywall, signing up to clean, or just being a listening ear or attentive eyes, that’s what I’ll do.
Moving on…
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
I’ve been reading through the book “The Ugly American” lately for my field lab.
I’m impressed so far. It is nothing like I expected, yet everything I would expect. Now let me explain that. I didn’t know what to expect upon opening the book. Some rant about Americans by a foreign author maybe? I don’t know. But as I read it, it was painfully obvious how ignorant of particular situations people can be. Not just some random war that they have nothing to do with, but occurrences in which they SHOULD know better. They have no excuse not to know the situation they are involved in.
From what I’ve read so far, each chapter in the book focuses on a different individual and shows the events unfold through their eyes. The setting is roughly the same for them, as they all are connected in some way to a particular country and the politics thereof. However, through each of these eyes the reader sees just how blind some of the individuals really are. Particularly the ones from America. Not all Americans are that way, but admittedly, Americans have a reputation of either not knowing or not wanting to know. About the people, the culture, the hardships, all very real life situations for millions of people around the world. Yet this attitude of trying to “Americanize” the “uncultured” people of another land reflects very badly on every American when the only representatives out there are the ones pushing this system.
Maybe some people can’t help it. Some Americans, probably subconsciously, feel they have to be someone else when they’re in foreign land. They play the tourist. That’s fine and all that if you actually ARE a tourist, but otherwise, be yourself.
Here’s a quote from one of the people in the book to kind of help you get my point:
"The simple fact is, Mr. Ambassador, that the average Americans, in their natural state, if you will excuse the phrase, are the best ambassadors a country can have,” Magsaysay said. “They are not suspicious, they are eager to share their skills, they are generous. But something happens to most Americans when they go abroad. Man of them are not average… they are second-raters. Many of them, against their own judgment, feel that they must live up to their commissaries and big cars and cocktail parties. But get an unaffected American, sir, and you have an asset. And if you get one, treasure him – keep him out of the cocktail circuit, away from bureaucrats, and let him work in his own way." (Lederer)
At least put in an effort to understand the people you are around.
All the little mistakes the Americans made along with all the little victories the Communists gained really made it seem like the Americans were inadvertently handing the country over the Communists on a silver platter. Ignorance is not bliss. Neither is it excusable or acceptable.
*Exhales* Ok, I think I’m done harping on my own people. But please… just use a little common sense sometimes, please?
*sigh* Alright, I’m done.
Now then, for a little more pleasantness. I at least want to end on a happier note. New worlds are always a sign of hope, right?
Back on track then.
I’m 80 hours into my field lab. This week that has mostly included helping my father cut out and fold 40 directories for our congregation. I already told you how much I’m enjoying my book for required reading. I’ve been writing various notes as I go through the chapters to make the book report easier to write later.
Our bathroom still has a hole in the wall. New problems keep us from really using the toilet on that side of the apartment. As far as the running water in the basement, we haven’t heard anything. They must have taken care of it for now because we haven’t heard any complaints either.
I’ve finally had the inspiration to practice playing the piano again.
*pokes EDJ again* Thank yer original for me for that one.
Anyway, I printed out notes to a song I really like and have been practicing that. Asides from my family, who shall have to endure it until I am sent overseas again, I’m keeping the song I’m playing a secret. I’m pretty sure I got the easiest version of the song. It’s 6 pages long, but I’m already on the second page. Which is pretty much zooming through it, considering my normal note-reading pace. The left hand is a little tricky, but I’m happy with my progress. ^_^
Writing.
Ah yes that thing where people put words together to make tales worth reading. I’m working on it. Hanna’s prequel is moving along nicely, but I still haven’t bridged the gap between what I have on the separate blog and what I’ve written for JuNoWriMo. Writing everything from Shard/Hanna’s perspective can be a little draining at times. I’m looking forward to the lighter parts. Parts filled with the interesting and surviving characters.
Now then, I do believe I shall take my leave.
As Hanna so aptly put it, “If you need me... do without."
Lederer, William, and Eugene Burdick. The Ugly American. New York: Norton & Company, 1999. Print.
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