Edge of Night - Billy Boyd

I talked about going on more adventure and making memories in my last post. 

Guess what? 

I went on an adventure!

In short, I went to a city a few hours away and got my picture taken with some people. It doesn't sound very adventurous, but to me it was more than that. 

I spent 3 weeks beforehand staring at an opportunity, contemplating whether or not I should go for it. A week before the event, I pulled the trigger and bought tickets to go to my first ever "comic-con" style convention. I drove three hours there by myself, blasting music with the windows rolled down the whole way. I probably spent about 4 hours waiting in lines. Waited in line to get in the door, waited in line to get my wristband, waited in line to get my picture. The picture itself was a second of my time, three seconds at most. As soon as I got what I came for, I drove three hours home, with more music. 

Was it worth it? 

It was to me. 

The picture-taking process goes so quickly. It has to with the number of fans they work through. I was probably their 1,000th  picture that day and there were still 500 people behind me. There is a short moment where everyone present looks up to see the next person in line. 

In that second, all those familiar faces look at you. It feels like walking into a room and seeing all your old friends again. All the memories come rushing back. Every scene. Every line. Every smile. Every tear. (I've watched LotR extended edition a few times.)

A flash and that moment is gone. All I could do was smile at them. I didn't have time to thank them. It wasn't even enough time to say hello. I went home that night and pondered what I would have said to them, if I had the chance.  

I would have told Miranda Otto she did not age a day. Her fierceness, courage, and beauty have outlasted and outshone every elf I know. 

I would have told Sean Astin that Sam was always the hero to me. Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam. Everyone needs a Sam. 

I would have told Billy Boyd his songs still inspire my writing even today. I would like to hear him sing more. 

I would have told Dominic Monaghan that Charlie was my favorite. Had I been clever, I would have written Not Penny's Boat on my hand. 

I would have told John Rhys-Davies he was an excellent Gimli and excellent Sallah. He is a strong favorite of many. 

I would have told Craig Parker that Haldir didn't deserve to go down like that and the movies did not do his eyes justice. They stood out like blue beacons in person. 

I would have told Lawrence Makaore his portrayal of Lurtz, Gothmog, and the Witch-king of Angmar have inspired several epic battle scenes. 

I would have told Sala Baker he made an excellent Sauron and action movies wouldn't be what they are without bad guys and stunt performers. 

I hope, somewhere along the line, someone would have said these things to them. 

This post is not to glorify these people beyond what they are. They are just as human as I am. They are actors paid specifically to look and talk pretty. They sit and smile for hours and talk on panels about movies they played in 20 years ago because they still get paid to. If an actor is good at his job, would you even know? What I do know is all humans are mortal and I wanted to see these humans before we lose any more of them. 

It was just a picture. But it was more than that. For one second, I wasn't awkwardly standing next to a group of strangers. For one second, I was in the Shire. I was in Rivendell. I was in Lothlorien. I was in Rohan. I was in Gondor. For one fleeting second... 

I was THERE. 

It was worth it to me. 

I wish I could have said thank you. 

Maybe it was good I didn't have time to think about it. I would have started crying. The convention was still enjoyable, in spite of the lines. I got to see tons of amazing costumes and cosplays. I got to hear funny stories from the other people in line with me. I got to chat with an author. I went on an adventure and had fun. 

If you're wondering if my social skills have improved over the years at all, here's how the chat with the author went. 

I'm walking around the vendor booths when I see someone wave at me. I think, "Oh, that kinda looks like my friend Isaac." I walk over and realize it is not Isaac, but a total stranger who asks, "Do you like to read?" (At a comic-con? Chance in a million.) 

Um. Yes. 

"Would you like to hear about a book I wrote?"

Um. Yes. 

And he goes on about his story of a were-otter that protects earth. (???????)

But I think, "Hey, this is the perfect opportunity to mention that I write and maybe he has tips of how to get from first draft to selling printed books at comic-cons."

I bring up NaNo and how I have a full first draft done and he says, "Cool! What do you write?"

Fiction. 

That's it. That's all. Fiction. Did I mention mirror realms, portals, young adult adventure, fantasy, superheroes, clones, time travel, or alternate versions of people? No. I said Fiction. 

Joke's on me, I walked away with a new book and spent the next 3 hours trying to figure out how someone becomes a were-otter. Someone better help me with my elevator pitching if I ever get to marketing. 

I don't know what to tell ya, friend. The guy had a strong opener, looked kinda like my friend Isaac, and his story about were-otters saving the earth is 100% something Isaac would have come up with. 

...

Hang on... 

Did I find an Other? 

~ Always Hope ~

Bird With a Broken Wing - Owl City

Much has happened, hasn't it, friend? 

Much has changed. We've collected many things along the way. Friends, family, scars, stuff, memories, experience. I've been digging through some of it. Rediscovering what makes me... 

me

Truth be told, I've been so focused on just staying afloat for so long, I forgot how to do anything else. 

By the time things slowed down enough for me to breathe and look around, I realized how much I had let go. How much I lost. 

Let's pause. You are far overdue for an update. 

When we last parted, I graduated college. I just married. I started my first "real" job. 

Here's everything that's happened since then:

A deer wrecked our only car 5 hours from home.

I tried and failed at an etsy store. 

I lost my job.

Hubby got a good job.

We moved across the state  into a 1 bedroom apartment. 

Started at a food service job (work stories).

Quit and started an admin job with a bunch of foresters. 

Went on two wildfire deployments as a Status/Check-In Recorder using the Incident Command System. 

Adopted a dog (Sam)

Promoted to a better job within the organization. 

Bought and moved into our first house (yay!).

Adopted a second dog (Toph) 

Lost my father to the pandemic. 

Therapy is in there somewhere. As are weddings, funerals, helping people move, more professional development courses than I can count, vehicle fixes/purchases, visits with friends and family, and just living life.

My husband has stood with me through all my crazy antics. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, in health, to love, and to cherish. By the grace of God, we're still here. 8 1/2 years later. My husband is patient and kind and gentle and smart and loving and so much better than I deserve. Is he perfect? No. Neither am I. But we are perfect for each other. 

My life doesn’t look however I expected it to look 10-15 years ago. My life doesn’t look like my friends' lives. That's okay. It's pretty great, in spite of the flaws. There are a lot of good things along with the not so great ones. 

Over the last year, I've: 

Participated and won National Novel Writing Month (first time ever). 

Wrote a full story (start to finish) in 6 months. 

Met up with an online gamer friend and hung out together (hopefully a new trend).

Put together my first ever public cosplay for the Renaissance Festival. 

Dusted off this old place. *looks around* *brushes away the cobwebs*

I've had more time lately to delve back into things I enjoy (crafts, video games, writing, baking, etc). I've hardly written anything of consequence in the last decade, yet in November I had a story to tell and decided to give NaNo another try again. After all, any words on paper are better than no words. I really, really want to finish Ice Sword Chronicles. (Hang in there, Blitz and Boomer, I'll get back to you eventually!)

But it's more than that. Since my father passed, it really hit me how fragile and short life is. It felt like my clock was running out. I realized that if I didn't share my stories, they would die with me. And I can't let that happen. I missed my chance at seeing my favorite band ever perform live. I'm not missing the chance to meet and visit the online friends we've been in communication with for years. Obviously, I'm still restricted by work schedules and travel budgets, but if an opportunity presents itself, I have to take it. I can't let fear stop me. Not any more. 

So here's to more stories. Here's to making new memories. Here's to making some of my dreams a reality. Come with me, if you want. 

Never Alone

Always Hope

I might be broken, but I'll still fly. 

Watch me. 

~ Savvy

A Moment of Silence

For the Fallen

There is a time for everything in life. While I would love to surround myself with music, silence is unavoidable. Perhaps even necessary. This is a memorial of sorts. A place for the fallen to carry on. A place to rest my sorrow while my heart heals. It's not an exhaustive list by any means. There are many more names I could add. At the same time, I'm glad it's not longer. There are also many who did not think they would make it to today's sunrise, but that is a story for another time. Suffice to say, I'm glad they're still here. 

To the list at hand - when I think back on my life, these have stood out as having the most impact. These are the people I still weep over, even after years have passed. It still hurts. These names and faces may mean nothing to you, but they meant something to me. 

Let that be enough. 

Jeffrey Jinkerson

A warrior among warriors. A poet among poets. A gentle flame in the dark. A genuine face in a sea of masks. 

Stan Mitchell 

A teacher, a mentor, a friend. A real life uncle Iroh who left the world (and the people in it) better than he found it. 

Chester 

Your songs said what I never could. They helped me through my darkest moments. You gave me somewhere I belong. 

Papa

I can say no more. Maybe one day I'll find the words. Maybe no words are needed. 

SilverAngel

My friend and coauthor for 14 years. You were a beacon of hope to me. I can only pray I can be that beacon for others. I won't let your stories die with you. Always Hope. 

See You Again - Wiz Khalifa

It's been a long time, hasn't it, friend? 

May I be vulnerable? 

I know. Social media isn't the place for vulnerability. It's a place of smiling pictures and happy facades. If that's what you're looking for, keep scrolling. 

I won't keep you. 

I wrote a letter to my father. You don't have to read it, but I know he never will so you might as well. 

Anyway

Today's your birthday. That's okay. It's just a day. But if there was never you, there wouldn't be me. I'm here anyway. 

I baked a cake you'll never taste. That's okay. I burned it anyway. 

I wrote a song you'll never hear. That's okay. I'll never sing it anyway. 

I wrote a book you'll never read. It's full of all the words I never said. That's okay. I'll never say them anyway. 

I look in the mirror and sometimes I see your face. Sometimes I see mine. That's okay. We both have gray hair anyway. 

It's been 450 days since it started raining. It doesn’t feel like it ever stopped raining. That's okay. I built a boat, but it rains anyway. 

The country you loved and spent 25 years in was invaded two weeks after you left. I wish I could say the war is over, but it's not. It's not okay, but they're still fighting anyway. 

It's not okay. We're not okay. I’m not okay. But I have to be anyway. So I will be anyway. 

You told me to keep my heart tender. I can't count the number of times it's broken, but that's one promise I kept anyway. 

You warned me about the ticking clock of time. I can hear it now. I can see thestrals now. If they were real, anyway. 

I'll be okay. 

One day

Anyway

Happy birthday, Papa

Blindness - Metric

Just because I actually had two stored up that I never got around to posting….. Yeah, go back and check the post below this one. Surprise!

Unfortunately, that just means it will probably be a while before the actual action scene.

I know. I'm mean.

The Promised Land: (Part 32)  Blindness

Once they reached the bottom of the staircase, Eden realized they were in some sort of subway system. An old subway car sat on its side, halfway into the station, blocking one end of the tunnel. The car on the other side looked as though it had been torn apart in the middle and each side was used to block both ends of the tunnel. As a defensive position, in looked pretty sturdy. Whatever “monster” they were trying to keep out, they made sure it had a hard time getting in.

Caden went to the middle of the platform, where a large map stood, and took a pamphlet from the side. Sitting on the concrete ground, he opened the pamphlet and traced his fingers over a map of the underground tunnel system. “This is where we need to go,” he said while pointing to a blue circle close to the left edge.

“Where are we?” Eden asked. Her voice echoed louder than she expected.

Asher pointed to a red circle close to the middle. Eden followed the red line until it connected with the blue line then followed that until it reached the circle Caden pointed out. There were a lot of other lines crossing the path they needed to take.

“We’ve got a long way to go. Hopefully we don’t get lost.”

Caden nodded to Shiloh’s light, “Once that dies out, don’t use another one. We’ll be in monster territory then. They’re extremely light sensitive. We don’t need to give them a reason to hate us.” He looked over and Asher and muttered, “Try to restrain yourself.”

“Monster?” Eden echoed.

“They’re more like werewolves,” Caden replied in annoyance. “We just don’t have another word for them. We should get going.”

Eden grabbed a couple extra pamphlets in case they got separated while Caden tucked away his map. The twins hopped down onto the track with Eden and Asher right behind.

“So these monsters…” Eden whispered hesitantly, “…werewolves?”

“Not exactly,” Asher replied. “They’re more of a wolf and coyote hybrid, but much bigger. Long, sharp teeth, creepy eyes, fur and skin in patches so they look like the dead brought back to life. They stink too.”

“And how many have you killed?”

“Just a couple dozen.”

“Liar,” Caden interjected.

“Ok, I’ve never killed any. They’re too dangerous to handle by myself. They hunt in packs and they almost always stay underground, unless they need food.”

Eden shivered. “So where’s the good news?”

Asher thought for a moment. “They burn well. So what’s your gift?”

“My… oh, I … uh…”

“She doesn’t have one,” Caden tilted his head back to Asher. “She’s a pure.”

“Ah, makes sense why you don’t have a tag. Do you have a sword or gun on you… or something?”

“Not really,” Eden muttered to her future relative.

Looking confused, Asher turned to Caden. “Shouldn’t she have a shotgun or something? She can’t be wandering these tunnels without a way to defend herself.”

Caden shrugged. “She’s done fine so far. She can’t even shoot.”

“Really? She’ll have to learn quick if we get mauled to death.”

“I don’t trust her aim. Might get one of us killed. Besides, how do you know she won’t get eaten first?”

Eden narrowed her eyes at Caden. “Your words of comfort are exhilarating.” Even though she expressed annoyance, she couldn’t help but be all the more terrified of their situation.

“Here,” Asher reached into his rucksack and pulled out two black sticks. He gave one to Eden and held the other in his hand. The top of the rod was made of metal, though had a rubber handle.

“Watch this.” He swung the baton down to the side of his leg to extend the rod. He pulled up the extended baton and waited for Eden to do the same. She swung the baton until hers extended. Lifting it up to inspect it, Eden noticed that the extended portion had ridges all the way to the tip.

“I wouldn’t touch those,” Asher commented. He pointed to a button on the rod. As he pressed it, the baton instantly came to life with electrical energy. The rod sparked and crackled with a blue glow. “It’s got a safety trigger you hold down,” Asher explained as he let go of the button and handed the rod to Eden.

“You’re just going to give these to me?” she asked in disbelief.

“Just until we teach you to aim,” Asher winked.

“That is super cool. Thank you!” Eden turned on both rods and swung them around a little.

“Ok, you have your glow sticks, can you keep it down?” Caden whispered. His look of annoyance quickly turned to high alert when they heard something skitter across the tracks. “We’re producing too much light.”

Eden turned off and collapsed her batons. Shiloh threw his light source back the way they came. They walked along in silence. Eden’s eyes eventually adjusted to the dark, but she would still bump into someone occasionally. At one point, they climbed on to the platform of a station, went up a set of stairs, and crossed a bridge. It felt like they had been walking for hours when Caden suddenly stopped.

“Wha-” Eden was shushed before she could finish her question. A putrid stench hit her nose.

“Pack,” Blitz barely whispered. “About thirty, at least.”

“Where?” Asher squinted into the darkness, but he couldn’t see any more than he did before.

“Clustered. Center of platform. Dormant. We can go around. Stay quiet.”

He led the way to the edge of the platform and slid off without a sound. Shiloh and Asher followed. Eden held her breath and carefully descended the platform. She couldn’t see the individual monsters, only a large mass on the platform. The smell intensified as they snuck by the pack. They didn’t risk stumbling over the monorail, but continued forward. They were almost in the clear when a sharp CRACK echoed through the tunnel.

Growls, clicks, and soft thumps suddenly arose from the cluster.

“RUN!”

Whispers in the Dark - Skillet

So it's not that I forgot. Well, maybe I did a couple times, but it's been in the back of my head for a while. 

Lots more life updates, of course. 

Being married is awesome. Seriously. I married a pretty great guy. 

Anyway, we went through another semester. He had school and work while I just had work. Then summer vacation hit and we both got new jobs. 

So now in my spare time I do chores or play video games. Or help set up ladies' days, gospel meetings, or help out friends. 

The family's back in the states, so that's cool. 

All in all, staying busy. The new job has pretty good hours and weekends off, so hopefully I'll be able to get more posts out. That'd be cool. 

On to The Promised Land. 

The Promised Land: (Part 31) Whispers in the Dark

Backup generators kicked into gear and a string of blue lights lit up along the walls. Most of the civilians were crouching or lying on the ground with their heads covered. Not that such tactics would have done all that much good if the ceiling collapsed. Shiloh sat up with a wince. His side was throbbing, but he stood up anyway. He helped Eden to her feet.

“What was that?”

Instead of answering her question, he led her to the nearest wall and opened a box filled with emergency equipment. Shy took out a six-inch light stick, cracked it in half and shook a couple times to get the white light going. Taking Eden’s hand, he twisted his way through the area littered with terrified people. Whether she minded or not, he didn’t know. Part of him hoped she would overlook the gesture. The other part just really hoped she wasn’t offended by it. Why should she be? This was only the third time he held her hand. Not that he was counting… He played it cool nonetheless.

They went down one of the hallways and into a room. It had bunk beds on both sides, but the back wall was lined with lockers. People were hiding in here as well, in the beds, under the beds, and on the floor. While the blue lights did a good job of lighting up the smaller rooms, the light stick made it easier not to trip over some of the curled bodies. Shiloh made his way to a bed and pulled out two bags from underneath. One was a backpack and the other was his violin case. He took the backpack and went to one of the lockers along the back wall. Opening it, Shy stuffed all the contents into his bag before returning to the bed. He pulled on a grey hoodie, put on the backpack, put the violin case on over his bag, took the light with one hand, Eden’s hand with the other and left the room.

It was time to go. The attack felt like a typical air raid, but it was far too close. The Atari were closing in fast on the secret location of the base. Maybe it wasn’t so secret any more. It was hard to tell how much information they had now and how many of their spies were still active. Shiloh headed back to where he last saw his brother.

“Caden will likely want to finish the mission as soon as possible, but what do we do after that?” Shy thought. “Maybe he’ll finally stop trying to be the hero. If he doesn’t, he might get us both killed. I like helping people as much as the next guy. I would even go out of my way to help my friends, but the resistance has their own men for this. They can take over from here. I want to go back to living a normal life.” Sure… a normal life. Life wouldn’t ever really be normal again, but at least he would have the option of daily risking his life. Shiloh had thought about what he would do if they ever got out of the resistance.

“Boomer.”

Maybe stay with Hope and help her out with the orphanage. Seems simple enough. Probably too boring for Caden, though he would enjoy the company.

“Boomer?”

Maybe Shy could find his own place up in the mountains or someplace where plants still tried to grow naturally. He had thought about setting up his own greenhouse. Trade in bullets for seeds. Maybe start his own restaurant. That would be pretty cool. Maybe Eden could-

“BOOMER!”

He stopped walking and looked at Eden. She pointed to something behind him. Realizing he was still holding her hand, Shy let it go and turned to see Asher coming to meet them.

“Glad to see you two are still holding up. I just saw Blitz at the office. He’s been looking for you.”

A number of people were up and about again, checking to make sure no one was injured and leading some back to the barracks. Even so, they were much quieter than before.

Asher spoke as he led them back down one of the halls. “We figure they knocked out our power source. The overheads should have lit up by now, but we’re still on generators. Cyrus sent a team out to fix it. Everyone’s spooked. The boys outside say it was just a drone, but they’re getting closer. Our guys are in position in case there’s a second assault.” Asher turned to Shiloh. “Blitz said you’re heading west. Seeing as I’m between jobs at the moment, I thought I’d join you. I don’t want to be stuck here if another wave shows.” 

“How often does this happen?” Eden asked.

“Too often.” Caden pushed his way past a few people and stood before them. “We have permission to leave. Immediately.” He looked to his brother. The two shared an unspoken conversation with only a glance and nod.

“What will happen to the people here?” Eden asked quietly as they headed back to the exit they came through the day before. None of her companions answered for a long time. In fact, not another word was spoken or signed until after they were in front of the woman with the clipboard and goggles.

“What do we have that’s fast?” Caden asked.

“Except for the usual cars and cycles, not much,” she replied.

“What about the monorail?”

“That’s been out for months. Several of the tunnels collapsed.”

“What about the ones to Westgate?”

“That one should still be intact, unless it was hit in the last hour.” Caden was about to leave when she spoke up, “I wouldn’t advise going down there unless you absolutely have to. Monsters roam those tunnels now.”

“No choice.” He kept walking.

“Stay on your guard.”

The crew headed to a section of the corridor Eden hadn’t noticed before. Through a set of doors in the wall, they went down two levels of stairs. Shiloh cracked another light stick as they entered to keep them from utter darkness.

Last Goodbye - Billy Boyd

Here it is, at long last; the end of the year post.

I feel like this song couldn’t be more appropriate for this post.

This last semester has been particularly busy, but it has ended well. This whole year has been long and busy, but the ending is so much more than the beginning.

In September, I started my first official (not part of school) job.

On the 12^th of December, I graduated college with a B.A. in Bible, a minor in Computer Science, and a minor in Business Management. I also got to see the last of the Hobbit trilogy, marking the end of a long journey through Middle Earth.

I’ve heard that every ending is a new beginning.

Just as the ending of the Hobbit trilogy leads into the beginning of the Lord of the Rings, the phases of my life lead one into the next.

The 13^th of December, I set out on a lifelong adventure with my best friend. I don’t know what struggles we will face in our new life, but we will face them together and we will overcome them together.

Bilbo and Frodo certainly couldn’t know the perils they would see or the hardships they would face, but they grew to be better people because of the journey.

Many places I have been

Many sorrows I have seen

But I don't regret

Nor will I forget

All who took that road with me

As this year ends, a new one begins; a year filled with its own beauties, toils, lights, shadows, hills, and valleys. The important thing to remember on any journey is to stay the course, to not forget the purpose. Without a destination, there is no journey. It’s important to keep your focus on God. Remember Him in the good times and bad. Remember Him when the path is clear and when all seems lost.

The best part about living a godly life is that there is no final farewell for Christians. Many of the friends I have parted with in airports in other countries and at graduation, I will see again. Either in this life or the next.