Utopia – Within Temptation

So, I’ve been super busy, but that’s not unusual for me. Busier than normal? Yeah, I guess so.
Quick recap.

I had a blast at home. I came back to the states and got stuck in an NY airport for 5 hours. Made it back to school with just enough time to unpack and sleep before classes started the next day. Hit the ground running with traveling from Poland, to Ukraine, and to America within a span of about 5 days. (Crazy, don’t try that at home.)

Anywho, went back to homework, regular work, meetings, and stuff all over again. On very little sleep.



Skip ahead a couple weeks and we’re in early Feb. Lectureship week dawns and activity increased threefold. During that whole week, I was working (sound for most of the all-day lectures), going to class (the ones that weren’t cancelled and still wanted to have homework and tests that week), eating (quick meals between work), sleeping (i.e. crashing with exhaustion just to get up in a few hours), or babysitting (awesome kids). I gotta tell ya, that was rough. I thought I would pass out from exhaustion at the end. Missing a couple stairs and sliding down the rest with my foot didn’t help either. I will say this though, I didn’t get sick until the very end of that week. For that, I am very thankful. Course, I’ve had the cold ever since (not enough time to rest and being busy enough to forget to take medicine doesn’t help).



Over the next week, some friends and I held a clothes drive to send clothes to Zimbabwe. We had an amazing response and last weekend we packed 65 banana boxes full of clothes. From what I’m told, there are still 50 garbage bags full of clothes waiting to be packed. Intense.

Time travel to today and here we are, in the middle of a new week full of activity and new demands. This weekend, I’m leaving for a “Women in Computer Science” conference in Kentucky. The annual poetry contest is coming up and I have poems written for that (will probably post those after the contest) and I’ve still been writing for the Bell Tower. Honestly, sometimes I worry about the little energizer bunny in me.

Peace of Mind - Boston

I had trouble deciding between this song and “Live Like We’re Dyin’”. So of course that song plays right after this one.

*sigh*
Thanksgiving break, but I still feel like I’m supposed to be supervising, coordinating, or just doing something in general. Sure, I have homework to do (mostly reading different chapters of different textbooks or the like). The past three weeks have been blocked up with work, meetings, classes, and other projects, so unwinding has been... difficult?

I’m involved in at least 4 different groups that meet on a regular basis.

Missions Group – Meets every other week and discusses different aspects of mission work for the mission minded.
Personal Evangelism – A newer group that meets every week and discusses ways to spread the Gospel.
Southern Oaks – Meets every week and hosts a devotional at the Southern Oaks Assisted living home.
A Helping Hand – A new student-based organization I’m part of. Our goal is to spread the Gospel as well as help with physical needs of those we are teaching. I’m part of the IT department of the organization.

I’m probably missing a couple other groups. Add classes, homework, group projects, and work to that mix.

Now that the musical is over, things should be pretty easy at work. I just have to make sure to secure the job so I can have it next semester. My boss already said I could have the job when I brought it up, but I figure reminding him every so often before the end of the semester would be a good idea.

I can always count on people around me to tell me how stressed I seem. You know it’s bad when you have friends telling you on a daily basis to chill out or take some time off. Finally being persuaded to spend some time relaxing, I took one day and canceled two meetings and moved two other meetings to different times. Trying to ignore most calls and texts, I ate dinner by myself and watched The Wrath of Khan in solitude. I enjoyed every minute of it. Despite being called an extrovert, I still like to think of myself as in introvert. I wanted some time alone (not to do homework) just to get my mind off everything. It left me feeling a little better; at least enough to last me through the rest of the week.

Now it’s Thanksgiving break. I’m spending it with a friend’s family in Oklahoma. By the time it came down to planning where I was going, I just wanted to get away from everyone and everything. That sounds really selfish...
There is a fine line somewhere in there that I’m still trying to figure out.



I sat down to write (NaNoWriMo, remember?) only to get nothing as far as inspiration goes. When I have time, I have no inspiration or desire to write. When I’m super busy, I have all the inspiration in the world. The stuff keeps me up at night until I tell myself I need to relax and get some sleep. Tis an merciless cycle.


The thing is, even when I do take a break from things, my mind still plagues me. I’ll be thinking about problems others are having and how I can help or different plans that need to be made or things on my to-do list (both short term and long term) and how I can accomplish them.
The truth of the matter is, I can never really get away from everything.



(cool points to whoever can correctly guess what these pics are from)




There is comfort in knowing God is in control, but that’s after I remind myself of that. I want to do everything on my own. For some reason, I feel that I have to. “No one else is going to do it for you.” Or “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” So I do. I automatically try to take care of others and help them with their problems in addition to juggling my own. If someone asks for help, I’ll drop what I’m doing and take on that as well. Tis no wonder I get so worn out. But I can’t stop, oh no. I can’t neglect anyone, otherwise I’ll be letting them down and that’s the last thing I want to happen.

*sigh*

Then I take a deep breath and remember why I became a Christian: because I was sick of trying to handle life on my own.

Looks like I’m still learning. =/

Don’t get me wrong I enjoy helping people. I’m thankful for the chance to help someone in need. I love my job. I’m thankful for the education I’m getting. I lament the fact that I let other things take priority over homework time and I have to rush through the material. I’m thankful for my friends and teachers. I’m thankful for the different groups I get to be part of. I’m thankful for my immediate physical family and I long for the day I can be with them again. I’m thankful for my spiritual family, life would be 10 times more difficult without them. I’m thankful for my extended physical family (hi grandma!) and the fact that I can stay in contact with them better now that I’m stateside. I’m thankful for my awesome friend who let me stay with her family for Thanksgiving. Maybe before the end of the week I can force myself to relax before the final stretch of school. Maybe. There’s a slight chance I’m going to go Black Friday shopping. *shudders* (20 years with a spotless record for what? That’s the question.)
With any luck, I’ll live to see Christmas break. I’m guessing I won’t be able to fully relax till I’m on the plane ride home.

~ Always Hope ~
~ Never Alone ~
~ Endurance and Victory ~

All Star – Smash Mouth

I had so much trouble figuring out the right song for this post.
Usually, I just use a song I’ve been listening to on repeat for a couple days or a song that fits the mood.
No song stood out so I made a list of 15 songs that I could choose from.
It’s been busy, almost to the point of chaotic.

First week and a half of school seemed to go pretty well.
On Thursday I went to programming II. (Don’t ask me why we started school on a Thursday. Some of the things they do here don’t make sense, that’s one of them.)
After class we had the tolling of the bell ceremony.
It’s the start of another school year. What else can I say, other than that it was funny seeing all the teachers dressed in various colored robes and sitting on stage?
The next class was the Prison Epistles: Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon. There was a bunch of familiar people in that class. It looks like it’s going to be pretty fun.
Last class was Art Appreciation. Shouldn’t be too hard for a visual learner.

Some of you may know that I’m in the process of pursuing a job in the theater wood shop. I’ve taken various measures to make sure I get the job, including visiting the shop 3 times (the first two times no one was there) and visiting the work-study window every other day or so. The guy working at the window always has this slightly amused/possibly annoyed smile/grimace expression when he sees me. I can’t actually tell if he’s annoyed or amused. I got to talk to the guy in charge of the shop and told him that I wanted to work there and answered various questions he had. Either way, they both said I would find out if I had the job sometime this week. The prospect looks good, but I think I’ll still bug the guy at the window.
All well, here’s hoping.


Friday I went to Visual Application Programming. Turns out, I’m in the same classroom with the same 9 computer students every morning at either 9:00 or 9:30 (depending on day), but with two different classes. I think that’s pretty cool, but that’s just me.
After chapel and lunch, I went to American Lit. I. In the middle of class, a girl on the soccer team passed out. Apparently she had had a concussion not too long ago. The teacher and a few students took her downstairs (class is on the 3rd floor) when she woke up. The rest of the class sat in intense silence. I spoke up and asked if someone would lead a prayer for her, which I’m thankful someone did. After the teacher came back, he continued the introduction to the reading assignment and sent us on our way with homework.

I went to the Southern Oaks assisted living home with a group of students. We usually have a devotional with a group of the elderly. Since Friday was the first time we had been back since last semester, we had a singing day.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out with friends, including watching Kung Fu Panda 2.



Saturday, the school had a free carnival thing for the students. Last year, I won a fishie that died soon after. This year, I won four fishies. The first one was white and died cause I stayed outside in the heat too long. I didn’t get the chance to name him before he died, but now I call him Ghost. The other three I got later in the day and got them to an air-conditioned room. One goldfish has some black on the fins, so I called that one Hanna. Another goldfish has white on the fins, so I named that one Kandi. The last one looked like a normal goldfish, nothing extraordinary, so that one is Anna. Simple enough, nay? They’re all still alive too, so far so good.



Sunday we had a potluck after services and that evening we had a singing night.

Today I went to class not in the best of moods. Twas annoyed and tired. Didn’t help that I was having some issues getting a program I need for my computer class up and running. Besides that, I had a reading assignment that was taking me forever to finish. I got it done in time though and got through two of my classes without too much difficulty. Then I went to Physical Science. I was not looking forward to it, but now I’m actually excited for it. There’s just something really cool about a teacher with Doctor Who hair talking about time travel, black holes, aliens, and smashing rocks with hammers. He was into it. He enjoyed science and he wanted to help the students enjoy it too. Isn’t that what good teachers are supposed to do? Anyway, I’m looking forward to that class.

Always Hope!

Walking in Memphis – Marc Cohn

The summer is coming to a tranquil close.

Oh, I survived the plane trip. I probably should have said that first.

The ride went by without incident, which is always nice.
I got back to the Lewis home in TN at about 4AM on the 12th. After a few hours of sleep, I repacked and went with some friends to lunch and stayed at their house for the next few days. I had to repack so I could let someone take my big suitcase to school for my while I moved around with my carry-on and backpack. I stayed with this family then went back to the first house before going to a place in Mississippi. It seems that even without my family, my life is filled with moving around a lot in the states. Until school, anyway.
It’s kind of weird being in someone else’s house. I’m not new to it, but there are still surprises every time. Also, I don’t like staying too long without feeling like I’m doing something productive. I don’t like feeling like I’m bothering people. How that exactly ties into my last sentence, I’m not entirely sure. The connection is there, it’s just difficult to put into words right now, ironically.

Anyway, now I’m in MS. The drive down was all right. One of the cars I was in lost a hubcap, but the trip was uneventful otherwise.



I’m staying at a friend’s house with several other friends. We are the Chapel Sitters. We have a title. It’s awesome. Almost as awesome as finding out some people know my family as “THE Swords,” which is just epic. ^_^

*ahem* so….

We, the Chapel Sitters of Freed-Hardeman University, in order to form a more awesome bond, establish fun, insure domestic sammiches, provide for the common majors, promote the general coolness, and secure the duct tape of friendship to ourselves and our peers, do decree and set this standard for the Freed-Hardeman freshmen.

Wait… that doesn’t sound quite right…
Where was I?
Ah, yes.
So there we are having a good time catching up and one of the Chapel Sitters brings out swords. Real swords.
Gladius, katana, and Andúril (Yes, that one :| )
I got to hold them ^_^
And maybe kinda play with one outside, but I won’t talk about that. :P

It’s been good being back with them (the friends, not the swords). A couple of them are going to Europe and will be spending the semester there with the school’s Belgium program. It’s been good getting to hang out with them before they leave.
We’ll all leave tomorrow, some to the airport and the rest back to TN.

Who can tell what this semester holds for each one of us...

Logical Song - Supertramp

*post*

Yayness for actually getting around to this again.

Getting back into the swing of this has been harder than I thought it would be.
Primarily because as soon as I figured out a system last semester, it ended and I'm stuck with a new schedule.

The FHU Lectureships are keeping the place lively. I've seen several people who were only ever present embedded in memories.

I've been wanting to write again. Such lengthy spans of uncreative activity can be draining and dangerous.

On the flip side, I've been practicing piano more. Which goes back to the proverbial, "don't use it, you lose it" quote.

*sigh*

Ah well, time marches on.

I find myself having to continually remind myself why I came here.

Bah, enough negative chatter.

I applied for yet another job position, hopefully that goes well.
Also looks like I'm going to be writing for the newspaper again, which is always fun.

*nods* That's better.


~ Strength and Honor ~

Last in Line - Dio

We are coming…. “home”

It’s hard to believe I have less than a week left.
A lot has happened since I’ve been back.

Cooking, cleaning, sewing, organizing, re-organizing, unpacking, packing, repacking.
Christmas, New Year, brother’s birthday, sister’s baptism.
Family time, game time, father/daughter time, mother/daughter time, sister time, brother time, pet time.

Busy.

The time to leave again is fast approaching, whether I’m ready for it or not. Another semester full of it’s own trials, tests, successes, failures, and joys shall soon be here.

It’s like being a part of two different worlds. Both worlds continue on within their own bubble. It’s like going between two different loops in programming, but that’s most likely not the most comprehensive comparison.

Ah well, either way, my time is running out.

My current estimate for how long I’ll be awake for the trip from here to the states: 38 hours

Never Going Back To Ok - The Afters

Hah, finally found some time. Well, I made some time really. It probably wouldn’t hurt to go over my notes again, but this has been on my to do list for a while. Such a thing should not have to go on a to do list, I know, but time escapes me.

So, school has come back with a vengeance. It won’t be too long now.
After a much needed break, I’m ready to get back to work. Yet at the same time, I’m ready to be done with this semester.

I’ve noticed how school has a way of severely limiting randomly creative productivity. I’ve had less time to draw or write. I think I’ve only drawn two pictures the whole time I’ve been here, which is sad. I was able to manage in a word war though. 800 something words in an hour. Talk about losing my touch.

I packed up my piano for Thanksgiving break and haven’t bothered to get it out again, considering it’s only going to be packed again in a couple weeks. I’ve only been able to practice when I make the time for it, usually when I need a productive stress reliever. Interestingly, that has been a fairly rare occurrence. Either way, one of my many locations of refuge has a piano and is just across the street from my dorm. Convenient? I’d say so.

A lot of stuff has been going on around campus. “Important” stuff. So important, I miss half of it. Like the SS people on the rooftops that I totally missed. My excuse? It was a busy day and I wasn’t looking for them. Yeah, I think I’ll stick with that. :P

Ah well, finals are coming up pretty soon. This shall be a very interesting next couple of weeks...


~ Savvy