Bird With a Broken Wing - Owl City

Much has happened, hasn't it, friend? 

Much has changed. We've collected many things along the way. Friends, family, scars, stuff, memories, experience. I've been digging through some of it. Rediscovering what makes me... 

me

Truth be told, I've been so focused on just staying afloat for so long, I forgot how to do anything else. 

By the time things slowed down enough for me to breathe and look around, I realized how much I had let go. How much I lost. 

Let's pause. You are far overdue for an update. 

When we last parted, I graduated college. I just married. I started my first "real" job. 

Here's everything that's happened since then:

A deer wrecked our only car 5 hours from home.

I tried and failed at an etsy store. 

I lost my job.

Hubby got a good job.

We moved across the state  into a 1 bedroom apartment. 

Started at a food service job (work stories).

Quit and started an admin job with a bunch of foresters. 

Went on two wildfire deployments as a Status/Check-In Recorder using the Incident Command System. 

Adopted a dog (Sam)

Promoted to a better job within the organization. 

Bought and moved into our first house (yay!).

Adopted a second dog (Toph) 

Lost my father to the pandemic. 

Therapy is in there somewhere. As are weddings, funerals, helping people move, more professional development courses than I can count, vehicle fixes/purchases, visits with friends and family, and just living life.

My husband has stood with me through all my crazy antics. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, in health, to love, and to cherish. By the grace of God, we're still here. 8 1/2 years later. My husband is patient and kind and gentle and smart and loving and so much better than I deserve. Is he perfect? No. Neither am I. But we are perfect for each other. 

My life doesn’t look however I expected it to look 10-15 years ago. My life doesn’t look like my friends' lives. That's okay. It's pretty great, in spite of the flaws. There are a lot of good things along with the not so great ones. 

Over the last year, I've: 

Participated and won National Novel Writing Month (first time ever). 

Wrote a full story (start to finish) in 6 months. 

Met up with an online gamer friend and hung out together (hopefully a new trend).

Put together my first ever public cosplay for the Renaissance Festival. 

Dusted off this old place. *looks around* *brushes away the cobwebs*

I've had more time lately to delve back into things I enjoy (crafts, video games, writing, baking, etc). I've hardly written anything of consequence in the last decade, yet in November I had a story to tell and decided to give NaNo another try again. After all, any words on paper are better than no words. I really, really want to finish Ice Sword Chronicles. (Hang in there, Blitz and Boomer, I'll get back to you eventually!)

But it's more than that. Since my father passed, it really hit me how fragile and short life is. It felt like my clock was running out. I realized that if I didn't share my stories, they would die with me. And I can't let that happen. I missed my chance at seeing my favorite band ever perform live. I'm not missing the chance to meet and visit the online friends we've been in communication with for years. Obviously, I'm still restricted by work schedules and travel budgets, but if an opportunity presents itself, I have to take it. I can't let fear stop me. Not any more. 

So here's to more stories. Here's to making new memories. Here's to making some of my dreams a reality. Come with me, if you want. 

Never Alone

Always Hope

I might be broken, but I'll still fly. 

Watch me. 

~ Savvy

A Moment of Silence

For the Fallen

There is a time for everything in life. While I would love to surround myself with music, silence is unavoidable. Perhaps even necessary. This is a memorial of sorts. A place for the fallen to carry on. A place to rest my sorrow while my heart heals. It's not an exhaustive list by any means. There are many more names I could add. At the same time, I'm glad it's not longer. There are also many who did not think they would make it to today's sunrise, but that is a story for another time. Suffice to say, I'm glad they're still here. 

To the list at hand - when I think back on my life, these have stood out as having the most impact. These are the people I still weep over, even after years have passed. It still hurts. These names and faces may mean nothing to you, but they meant something to me. 

Let that be enough. 

Jeffrey Jinkerson

A warrior among warriors. A poet among poets. A gentle flame in the dark. A genuine face in a sea of masks. 

Stan Mitchell 

A teacher, a mentor, a friend. A real life uncle Iroh who left the world (and the people in it) better than he found it. 

Chester 

Your songs said what I never could. They helped me through my darkest moments. You gave me somewhere I belong. 

Papa

I can say no more. Maybe one day I'll find the words. Maybe no words are needed. 

SilverAngel

My friend and coauthor for 14 years. You were a beacon of hope to me. I can only pray I can be that beacon for others. I won't let your stories die with you. Always Hope.