In The End - Tommee Profitt (Linkin Park cover)

 

I did it, SilverAngel.

I hit 50k. I won NaNoWriMo. Just like I said I would. Just like you knew I could.

I'll be honest, I almost gave up after I heard the news of your passing. I wanted to stop. I wanted to never write another word. Yet the words poured out. I had to keep going, mostly out of spite. I had to finish what I started, no matter what. That's what heroes do. That's what hope does. 

Always hope. 

Isn’t that what you told me?

Always hope is stamped on everything I write. Always hope was our battle cry as we flew headlong into life, swords glinting and wings unfurled. Your battle is over now, fallen warrior. It grieves me more than you can ever know to watch you fall. Always hope is the whisper on my lips as I claw forward and pick myself up from the mud. Always hope is stitched to my heart as I press on, leaving you behind. 

We've been friends for 14 years and now you're gone. I kept your stories safe for you. Of course I saved them. I try to save everything. Without condoning, without condemning, I understand. It's not okay. It will never be okay. Yet, I will take up the mantle of Auriel - angel of hope. I will pick up the broken standard. I accept the responsibility that comes with being a lightkeeper. You remember what Cave Johnson said about life handing you lemons. I'm gonna burn the house down with the lemons. 

Hope is a light in the darkness and in the darkness I will be that light. 

For you. 

For me. 

For them. 

“To wring a silver lining out of thunderstorms isn’t for the faint of heart. What you are doing is brave and meaningful. Every story has meaning because every voice is different. Every life is a lens refashioning the ordinary into the extraordinary. And you, right now, right this second, are part of that ancient and sacred tradition of storytellers.” ~ Roshani Chokshi

Goodbye, SilverAngel. 

My friend and coauthor. 

This win's for you. 

We did it. 

~ Always Hope ~ 

Eyes up, Guardian

More Than A Fighter - JT Music

 

This post is short and sweet. 

If you're wondering how NaNoWriMo is going, don't worry. I stopped editing, but I haven't stopped writing. Meaning all the parts/chapters I have been posting are the 90% workable and 50% edited content. In order to speed up the process and keep up with my word count, I've focused 100% on just writing and doing it from memory instead of painstakingly going over the new and the old content line by line. 

This way, I get through most of the story and I can always go back and make it pretty later. More ISC content is coming. It's just not ready for reading yet. 

I'm at 41,773 words as of this moment. 50k is right around the corner.

Meanwhile, enjoy this tribute to Cal Kestis that I've been listening to on repeat for the last five hours. 

~ Always Hope ~

What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong

 

I wasn’t planning to write a blog post while doing NaNoWriMo, but out of the abundance of the heart the hand types so here we go. 

I stopped to look up at the architecture of the building I work at the other day and it suddenly hit me: when did something that once filled me with awe and wonder become so mundane? It happened to you too, right? The moment you skip your favorite song because it has become dull. The moment a bright red maple tree standing among a sea of yellows and greens becomes ordinary. The moment you’d rather stand under the umbrella instead of letting the rain touch your skin. Oh, what lives we lead when the extraordinary becomes normal! Life is full of incredible, beautiful moments that we are often too busy to stop and appreciate. The wonderful moments. The awesome moments. The moments when you stop and stare in amazement. I don’t want to lose that sense of wonder. Don’t let life become mundane. 

But what if it has? What if you can’t get out of the day in and day out? Next time you grab your coffee, stop and feel the warmth of the cup. Next time you pass a bakery, stop and smell the fresh bread. Listen to the heartbeat of someone you love. When you see that little daisy poking out between the cracks of the sidewalk in the middle of November because it doesn’t care what time of year it is, appreciate its beauty. Get excited when you see a rainbow. Get excited when your egg randomly has two yolks. In a world full of darkness and despair and monotony, stop to find the joy and you’ll find it.

Along this line, I discovered that the moment you learn how to pop the top off your stove to clean it, you become unstoppable. It's like discovering the hidden adult magic that you longed for as a kid. The mystical power of adults who can do anything. A similar thing happened when I found out you can swap the direction your doors open on appliances (fridge, dryer, washing machine). That was a fun day. I'm not sure if I've become a boring adult when these kinds of discoveries excite me or if I'm still seeing through the eyes of a child. Maybe I’m just a dork.

Getting back to NaNo, there must be a word for when your brain decides it would rather spend 3 hours deep cleaning the entire house on your day off than write one legible sentence toward your word count goal. Oh, there is? “Procrastination”? That doesn’t sound right. While my word count is not where it should be (these words don't count), I have a backlog of raw content from notes and word wars that I need to work on getting “reader ready.” Don’t question the process, but trust there is one. I am still being productive, it just doesn’t look like it yet…. Yeah, we’ll go with that. I did start noticing a pattern though…

There is a great big bad overlord that no one sees until the very end. The fate of the world is at stake. The one deemed to save it refuses the calling. And there is some sort of crush going on between the easy going pacifist and the emotional water girl. Is it a stretch? Maybe. Are the patterns only there if you look for them? Possibly. I don’t know, but I found it funny all the same. 

I was thinking about the importance of Veteran’s day. I have lived a conflict-free life. I don’t know anyone in active duty. I don’t know anyone who has died in the line of duty. And I only know a handful of veterans. I realize this makes me fortunate. I’m an ignorant civilian who has never had to worry about war. Obviously, it’s a bit different with the war going on in the country I grew up in, but I’m still not its citizen. I believe it takes a certain kind of person to be willing to lay down your life for others. For that, members of the military have my highest respect. Some never saw combat. Some never left our shores. Some left and are lucky they made it back at all. None of that makes them any less worthy of respect, in my eyes. Most of the time, I don’t know what to do when I see a veteran. Thank you doesn’t feel like enough. As with many areas of life, I wish I could do more. Honestly, I don’t think we as a nation are doing enough for them. But those are opinions best kept to myself. Those are the kinds of opinions that make people mad and I hate making people mad. So let me leave it at this: if you had the strength to put on my country’s uniform, thank you. Thank you for choosing to protect fortunate and ignorant civilians like me.