Hi friends,
Something about sitting in heavier than usual traffic or seeing a yellow bus drive past my windows of late reminds me of the friends who became teachers or parents or both or neither. Maybe it's the chill in the mornings when I'm taking the dogs out, a chill absent two days prior, that reminds me of walking to classes and both the teachers and other students in those classes. With the waning of daylight hours and waxing of stressors as schedules and seasons churn, I like to send out reminders that sunlight can be found anywhere. So here's some sunshine. Something to brighten the day, lighten the load, bring to remembrance existence and appreciation for both the giver and receiver.
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." ~ J.R.R. Tolkien
I intended to share life advice. Something like, "things the last 10 years taught me" or some such nonsense, but then halfway through I realized I would only be reiterating what people far wiser than me have already said. I'm sure most of is the same advice you've already heard.
There's the common sense advice, of course: eat your fruits and veggies, make your bed, move your body, go outside, use sunscreen, brush your teeth, everything in moderation, respect the law, be considerate of others, be responsible, don't spend more than you earn, return what you borrow, leave places better than you found them, wear your seat belt, be gentle, be patient, keep your promises, be teachable, stand up for others, watch your tongue, watch your temper, etc. These we know, but time, pride, and experience have a way of blurring the value of these lessons. If you have to go back to the basics (I often do), that's okay. Every sunrise means a fresh chance to try again.
The basics are more than enough to keep anyone busy, however, these are still not the lessons I wanted to focus on. I want to highlight some reflections of others and build upon them. Most of these are self reminders in areas I still need growth in, but I thought sharing would help someone else out there. After all, “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” ~ John Donne, Meditation XVII
I also put together a couple song-inspired art pieces at the very end. Enjoy!
"I poured your tea because I wanted to, and for no other reason. ... There is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you." ~ Uncle Iroh, ATLA
I like helping people. I think it's important to find ways to contribute to others without hidden agendas. We need each other and it took me far too long to realize that. It took me even longer to let people in and help me instead of thinking I had to do everything myself. My independence and self-sufficiency were bragging rights, not freedom.
“Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think ‘What's in it for me?’
Or ‘It's way too far’
They just show on up
With their big old heart”
~ Tracy Lawrence, Find Out Who Your Friends Are
The people who want to keep you in their lives will find ways to do so. The flip side of this coin is you need to find ways to keep the people you want in your life too. Community is a two way street. Cutting every single person off has consequences as much as bending to every person's will. There is a road of balance between the two and only so much capacity you have to maintain relationships. Pick your battles. It's okay to let some relationships go to make way for new ones, but all relationships still take some amount of effort and maintenance to survive. Decide which relationships are worth keeping and be open to making new ones. It's already a lonely enough world out there. Connection matters and it's worth the effort.
"Heed me. You were the vessel of evil. The evil is poured out. It is done. It is buried in its own tomb. You were never made for cruelty and darkness; you were made to hold light, as a lamp burning holds and gives its light." ~ Ursula K. Le Guin, Tombs of Atuan
Fill the vessel with light. Hold light. Spend time creating. Not for money. Not for fame. Not even for self purpose or self improvement (not that we shouldn't be striving to become better versions of ourselves, but that is a separate discussion). Create beautiful things because beautiful things are worth creating. Build, paint, draw, fix, mold, knead, type, loop, fasten, glue, hammer, stitch, bake, freeze, dry, sing, speak, strum, tap, brush, clean, push, pull, plant, water, grow, design. Whatever it is you can do to fill the world with beneficial things, do it. Do it for the sake of creating, though you get bonus points if you make something other people can enjoy. Fall in love with making again. Fall in love with living again. It's never too late to learn new hobbies.
“Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.”
~ Uncle Iroh, ATLA
“Cause there's no such thing as hopeless if you believe
Unsinkable ships sink, unbreakable walls break
Sometimes the things you think would never happen
Happen just like that
Unbendable steel bends
If the fury of the wind is unstoppable
I've learned to never underestimate the impossible”
~ Joe Nichols, The Impossible
Choose life intentionally. Life is always worth living. When times are difficult, wait. Things will change. Give them time to. When something is torn, broken, and burned, it needs time to heal. Healing does not always mean a 100% restoration of what was lost, but it does mean moving forward.
When times are good, enjoy them. Do not corrupt today's peace by looking for tomorrow's trouble. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. Be grateful for the moments you have while you have them. Slow down. Be bored. Stress isn't worth it. Take care of yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup. You cannot lift and help others if you have no strength. Take stock of areas you are strong in and areas you want to improve in. Not with the goal of assigning personal worth to what you can or can't do, but to better know when to step in and when to step back.
“Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.” ~ Hub McCann, Secondhand Lions
Think of others more than you think of yourself. Our focus should be on collaboration, not competition. Thinking of another person as so much better or worse than you (because they can X, or because you don't have Y, or because they were born with Z, etc.) is still putting yourself at the center and assigning value to human beings. The sun doesn't revolve around you (or me) and that's okay. We aren't main characters tasked with saving the world from destruction (no matter how often we act it). It's okay to admit you can't control the fate of the world. It's okay to lead a quiet life, mind your own business, and work with your hands. It's okay to be ordinary. Our power is in the every day acts of the one thing we can control - ourselves. Aside from that, your life has value regardless of how much you produce. You are not any less treasured if you produce less today than you did yesterday. The lives of the elderly, the infant, the disabled, the diseased, the productive, the local, the leader, the foreign: they all have value. You have value. Simply for living. For being you. Life is precious. Treat your life like it's precious.
"Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends." ~ JRR Tolkien
Just because you believe in goodness, value life, and try to display light, does not mean everyone else will. Some people are determined to have a bad day no matter what. There is nothing you can do to change their mind. Some people move from one disaster to the next, life in constant chaos, desiring to pull as many people down with them as they can. They see evil everywhere because they seek it out and have forgotten how to unseek it. When chaos becomes normal, peace is a threat. Do all you can to show them peace in the eye, but don't get swept into their hurricane. Protect what is precious.
Choice is our gift. When others choose darkness, hatred, and harm; choose light. When others choose apathy, detachment, and surrender; choose light. You cannot control others, but you can control yourself. You cannot change the world, but you can change yourself. You can choose joy. Choose peace. Choose faith. Choose hope. Choose love. Darkness is easy. Light must be chosen intentionally. Every week. Every day. Every moment, if need be. Choose it anyway.
"I keep embracing each sunset
Knowing it will wane
I don't wanna look back
And wish I'd done it better
And I am facing the stars now
The joy is worth the pain
And I'll love you back
Forever and ever and ever"
~ Lacey Strum, Forever & Ever
Art Time
"And if the whole wide world stops singing
And all the stars go dark
I'll keep a light on in my soul
Keep a bluebird in my heart"
~ Miranda Lambert
Remember, sunshine can be found anywhere.
Always Hope!
