Play it by Ear: Until The World Ends

"Through the tender mercy of our God, With which the Dayspring from on high has visited us;

To give light to those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, To guide our feet into the way of peace.”

‭Luke‬ ‭1:78‭-‬79‬ ‭NKJV‬

I apologize if my last post caught a few of you off guard. The loss caught me off guard too. I suppose it should not have. I had been talking SilverAngel down from the ledge for a while. In the end, I could not save my friend's life. I tried. I failed. The guilt for this failure is not on me. I know I alone am inadequate. I've had the awareness and prevention trainings. I know the signs. I've seen the numbers. I can listen to you. I can give you a place to vent. I can tell you it will get better all day long, but it won't make a difference if you don't believe me. If you find yourself in the valley of hopelessness and despair, please seek professional help. Here are a few resources:

Call or text at any time - 988

https://sprc.org/

https://rogersbh.org/

https://www.kindmindcounseling.org/

Please utilize them. There is no shame in asking for help. You have people who love you and care about you and want you to stay. I'm one of them. I care if one more light goes out. Please don't let the darkness win. Life is worth living, even when it isn't perfect.

I miss my friend, but I need to keep going. The living need my attention. The storms of life rage on and I need to help pick up the pieces where I can. I need to finish what I started. I need to focus on the next right thing.

There were good things that happened this year. Great things, even. But sad things happened too. Gotta take the sunshine with the rain. You need both to grow. If this year was not a good one for you, there is still next year. There is still tomorrow. There is today. It's not too late. It's never too late to change. It's never too late to be better.

As we close out this year, I am so thankful for many things. I am grateful for the patience, kindness, and mercies of the One True King. I am grateful for the Hope that is in me, the Light that keeps me going. I am grateful for the family and friends that have been by my side through everything this year. I'm grateful for my coworkers and current work environment. I'm grateful for my puppies who still love me when I trip over them. I'm grateful for the new adventures I've been on this year and the courage to try new things. I'm grateful for my husband.

(Princess Mononoke)

My husband has stuck with me through thick and thin. Through better and worse. Through sickness and health. Through life and loss. I don't talk about him enough. Partly because that's a side of me you have no business knowing, but also because of this fear that if I talk about something important, something bad will happen to it. Like the fb curse for relationships. What I have is precious and sacred and very dear to me. I will not part with it for anyone or anything.

(Howl's Moving Castle)

Our love may not look like big bouquets or fancy dinners or flashy jewelry. Romcoms are corny and PDA is still sappy. Instead, our love looks like stargazing in freezing temps. It's building lego sets together. It's playing video games together. It's loud duets with each other from separate rooms. It's cooking dinner and washing the dishes. It's making sure the car tank is full and the groceries are put away and the trash is taken out. It's waking up at 1 in the morning to take care of the dogs then getting up at 4 for work. It's calling each other when you are physically apart and staying on the phone for hours, even if you don't say anything at all. It's asking "what can I do for you" until you run out of things to do and still looking for things to do anyway. It's whispering "I love you" every chance you have to say it and mean it every time. It's staring into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my entire life for as long as I live.

(Tales from Earthsea)

You cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds. You cannot break it, not with a thousand swords. He's not perfect. I'm not perfect. But we're perfect together. I would follow you to the end, Forever & Always.

"In the end I wanna be standing

At the Beginning with you."