Utopia – Within Temptation

So, I’ve been super busy, but that’s not unusual for me. Busier than normal? Yeah, I guess so.
Quick recap.

I had a blast at home. I came back to the states and got stuck in an NY airport for 5 hours. Made it back to school with just enough time to unpack and sleep before classes started the next day. Hit the ground running with traveling from Poland, to Ukraine, and to America within a span of about 5 days. (Crazy, don’t try that at home.)

Anywho, went back to homework, regular work, meetings, and stuff all over again. On very little sleep.



Skip ahead a couple weeks and we’re in early Feb. Lectureship week dawns and activity increased threefold. During that whole week, I was working (sound for most of the all-day lectures), going to class (the ones that weren’t cancelled and still wanted to have homework and tests that week), eating (quick meals between work), sleeping (i.e. crashing with exhaustion just to get up in a few hours), or babysitting (awesome kids). I gotta tell ya, that was rough. I thought I would pass out from exhaustion at the end. Missing a couple stairs and sliding down the rest with my foot didn’t help either. I will say this though, I didn’t get sick until the very end of that week. For that, I am very thankful. Course, I’ve had the cold ever since (not enough time to rest and being busy enough to forget to take medicine doesn’t help).



Over the next week, some friends and I held a clothes drive to send clothes to Zimbabwe. We had an amazing response and last weekend we packed 65 banana boxes full of clothes. From what I’m told, there are still 50 garbage bags full of clothes waiting to be packed. Intense.

Time travel to today and here we are, in the middle of a new week full of activity and new demands. This weekend, I’m leaving for a “Women in Computer Science” conference in Kentucky. The annual poetry contest is coming up and I have poems written for that (will probably post those after the contest) and I’ve still been writing for the Bell Tower. Honestly, sometimes I worry about the little energizer bunny in me.

Burning Heart - Survivor

I think my favorite line from this song is:

In the warrior’s code, there’s no surrender.
Though his body says, “Stop!” His spirit cries, “Never!”

Already the first week and a half into the semester and I’m already tremendously busy. It’s been a hit the ground running kind of thing. I’m in Poland a week, that weekend I’m back home, the beginning of the following week I’m dealing with delayed flights, the latter part of the week I’m battling jetlag while trying to do homework.

I started crocheting another scarf to give away. It’s already 1/3 finished, maybe a little more. A project I would like to do in the near future make hats for the cancer kids at the hospital in Jackson.

I’ve been rewriting parts of Hanna’s prequel. I actually have a personality for one of the main characters now, who knew? For those of you who are interested in this news at all, I’ve rewritten/edited parts 1 – 3 so far. More to come as time allows.

I’m writing for the Bell Tower again too. They must be really low on writers or something because they asked me if I would be interested in writing for the paper again. They must have forgotten how late my last submission was. Note: it never even made it to the web page.

I’m super excited about this next project. One of my friends came to me and asked about any ideas I had for gathering a bunch of clothes to give away. Last year, I helped a Partners4Africa load a huge cargo truck with banana boxes (over 1,000 boxes, I forget the exact number). They gave us permission to gather clothes to send over to Zimbabwe through the organization. I’ve been had to jump through some loops to get this activity approved, but hopefully everything will work out.
Here’s the slide I made for the event.



*cough* Freedies *cough*


Of course, I’m still involved in most of the other groups + some. Usually, the only way I can tell if I’m too busy is if I suddenly realize a couple hours later that I missed a meal. So far, I’ve only done that once. No worries, I ate when I remembered.

Classes/homework – same old story. I just have to work hard to keep my head above the water. Finding enough time for my homework has been a killer though. Classes are fine, generally speaking. Ironically, the most logical class (which I am pleasantly surprised that there is more logic than math in this class) is at the end of my longer days, when I’m pretty much mentally and physically spent. Just another par for the course, I guess.

Ever the wandering wayfarer in this wearing journey through life. I’ve been told it gets worse the older I get. There’s a hopeful outlook for ya. Doesn’t help when you have that awkward moment where security is driving by and stops to ask if you’re ok because you were hunched over a trashcan with stress leaking from your eyes.
Ah well.
Ok, I’m done ranting.



Let’s end on a happy note.

I’m booked to work sound during lectureship week. That is going to be awesome and extremely busy at the same time.

Now for something a little closer to home.
Me: *tells a friend about my schedule*
Friend: It’s ok. You’re Savannah, you’ll get it done.
Me: I don’t understand why people have these great expectations of me. I’m not that great. I mess up too.
Friend: You’re not that great, but God is.

Just goes to show…

~ Always Hope! ~

The Morning After - Maureen McGovern

So for the past three or four weeks, the Ukrainian government has been trying to kick my family out of the country. Twas a big mess with visa expiration, registration, and authorization. … and a lot of procrastination on the government's part.
Monday: Come back Wednesday
Wednesday: Come back Friday
Friday: Come back Wednesday

Yeah, it's been nerve wrecking.

Without the visa approval, my family would immediately have to leave the country for at least three months. Not really a big deal, but we're talking a whole family of 7 people. If they had to leave, my ticket home would have to be changed as well (something about not wanting to be without my family on Christmas.)

So, for the past three weeks, on top of everything else, here I am worrying about whether or not I'll get to be home for Christmas. Tis a very wearying thing, worry.

After a week, I just wanted to be with my family for christmas. It's always been odd listening to people say, "I'm going home this weekend."
It doesn't bother me like it used to, it's just odd now (unless I happen to be really homesick that day).

Of course with the end of the semester coming you have Christmas stuff all around, people exited about going home, seeing family, seeing friends.
I guess I'm thankful I had all the homework, projects, and other things going on.
Twould have been a puddle of tears had I time to stop and think about it.

Tis still odd though, when people say "Are you excited for the end of the semester?"

What goes through my head: The end of semester will determine whether I can go home or not. Where will my family be? Will I have enough time to get to them? What about our Christian family back in Ukraine?

What I actually say: *hesitantly* "I guess" or *absently* “yeah”

Course they can tell something's wrong so they ask. Then I debate whether I should tell them or not.
"Just because I'm having a rough day doesn't mean I have to make other people feel bad."
"Tell more people so they can pray for my family."
"I just want to be alone."

I know, I know, still have a lot of work in that area. I’m working on it.
Hope, worry, and trust collide quite frequently.
Then I am reminded of passages like

II Tim 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

Proverbs 3:5, 6 “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Matthew 6:25 – 34 “Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

And songs like "Trust and Obey," "Be still my soul," and "Living by Faith."

… Then comes the mental berating.
Trust is a very great thing.
I find myself going, “Lord, please take this. There’s no way I can do this alone. I know you can take care of it… but I’ll just hold on to this little section.”
I still have a lot of work in this area. A LOT.
I know I’m not perfect. I’ll still keep trying to be perfect though. That could be both a good and bad thing.

At least things are almost over. This week’s been rough with all the projects, programs, and presentations piled into one week.

My family now has their passports and registration back. They are legal till Feb. It’s not a whole lot of time, but it’s enough to figure things out.

I am so thankful for answered prayer and for all those who knew/found out/dragged it out of me and prayed for my family and me during this time. I really appreciate it.

The semester’s coming to a close and the projects and tests will be over one way or another. Now I get to think about moving rooms and packing for home. It’s been a good semester, just incredibly busy and packed. I’ll be home for Christmas.

Note to self: don’t take on so much that you get burnt out a month and a half before you can go home and recuperate. A month is hardly enough time to fully recover from that much interaction.

Ah well, the most I can do is try.

~ Always Hope ~

Stand My Ground - Within Temptation

So busy.

Tests, quizzes, meetings, homework, classes, programs, work, food, and that stuff called sleep.

Ah well, here are some sites to check out in the meantime.

Website of the organization I'm assisting. We're still trying to get it up and running, but this is the website so far.

Site for Hanna's prequel (or what I have edited so far). I'm continuing this for NaNo. Course, most of what I write is unedited, so it may be a while before this site gets updated.

If you want some of the unedited stuff, scroll past the poem.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit -
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver line of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

--Unknown


Frozen Memoirs: unedited excerpt.

The doorknob rattled as she tried opening the locked door. I heard a loud sigh before Anna continued. “If you’re listening,” she said, “I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you. It’s just... I want to believe you can do better, if you tried.” As she talked, I quietly made my way to the window and noiselessly slid it open. I assume she kept talking. I was already out the window and sprinting to my bike. Within a few minutes I was on my way to rendezvous with the White Raven.

~ Strength and Honor ~
~ Endurance and Victory ~

Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas

It is amazing how so much can happen in so short a time. As usual, I’ve been slightly sleep deprived lately. No big deal. I can still wake up and function normally in society… for the most part.

For real though, it’s these early mornings that are killing me. I haven’t stayed up past 2 for about a week now (that I can remember anyway). Instead, I've gotten up earlier so I could have a few hours to do homework.

Homework… schoolwork… projects, programs, reading assignments, writing assignments. Yeah, those things. I need to do more of them. I need to get better at putting the things I need to do first. Sounds ironic.

Anyway, I’m going to update ye all on the story of my life at some point or another, but that takes too long.


Let me hit the highlights.

Saturday morning, I went with a group of Freedies and we helped pack about 1,120 banana boxes in a truck to be sent to Zimbabwe. That was awesome. ^_^
I like being productive. Some how, seeing physical progress is more gratifying than mental progress. Granted, there is a certain kind of joy when the program you’ve spent more than 4 hours working on runs properly, but it’s not quite the same.

Sure, I can write some code, but I’d much rather put the computer together. I like working with my hands. It lets me be all crafty-like and creative. I can be a little creative in programming, but it’s like finding a new way to get to the right answer in a math problem. I’m sure someone somewhere has a lot of fun with that.

I’m better with hammers, nails, wood, construction paper, crayons, yarn, hardware, and food. I am perfectly ok with going through life without knowing the estimated number of Pi. I know how to calculate it now though.


Moving on: jobs. I have one. It took a while to get one, but now I have one. I am very thankful to have it. Seems I pestered the dude at the work/study window enough. The original job I wanted (the one with the wood and saw dust and power tools) was given to someone else. However, I pestered them some more and got the next best thing. I get to help work the lighting, sound system, and powerpoints for chapel. Is that not awesome? What’s more, I can fill in hours working in wood shop. They’re probably going to have me paint the set at the most, but hey, it’s a start. ^_^

That turned out to be longer than I expected. Figures.



Anyway, with everything going on, it’s been difficult finding/making time to do the things I need to do. It’s still just the start of the semester/year, but I’m already exhausted.
I am extremely grateful for the encouragement I’ve been receiving from those around me and those in other countries. You guys are awesome. I mean it. Thank you.

* Non sequitur list of pictures moment *









* moment over *

Here’s a poem I wrote a while ago then recently found on my hard drive. I never really finished it, but I guess it looks fine like this.

A letter of encouragement
I to thee now write
I hope that you will not relent
Nor give up in your fight.

I know thine foes very well
For I once fought them too
Nothing new that I thee tell
Thine task was set for you

~ SMS

And because I like poetry so much, here’s another poem.
Not by me this time.




A Psalm of life

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,--act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;--

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow



~ Always Hope ~

~ Never Alone ~

All Star – Smash Mouth

I had so much trouble figuring out the right song for this post.
Usually, I just use a song I’ve been listening to on repeat for a couple days or a song that fits the mood.
No song stood out so I made a list of 15 songs that I could choose from.
It’s been busy, almost to the point of chaotic.

First week and a half of school seemed to go pretty well.
On Thursday I went to programming II. (Don’t ask me why we started school on a Thursday. Some of the things they do here don’t make sense, that’s one of them.)
After class we had the tolling of the bell ceremony.
It’s the start of another school year. What else can I say, other than that it was funny seeing all the teachers dressed in various colored robes and sitting on stage?
The next class was the Prison Epistles: Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon. There was a bunch of familiar people in that class. It looks like it’s going to be pretty fun.
Last class was Art Appreciation. Shouldn’t be too hard for a visual learner.

Some of you may know that I’m in the process of pursuing a job in the theater wood shop. I’ve taken various measures to make sure I get the job, including visiting the shop 3 times (the first two times no one was there) and visiting the work-study window every other day or so. The guy working at the window always has this slightly amused/possibly annoyed smile/grimace expression when he sees me. I can’t actually tell if he’s annoyed or amused. I got to talk to the guy in charge of the shop and told him that I wanted to work there and answered various questions he had. Either way, they both said I would find out if I had the job sometime this week. The prospect looks good, but I think I’ll still bug the guy at the window.
All well, here’s hoping.


Friday I went to Visual Application Programming. Turns out, I’m in the same classroom with the same 9 computer students every morning at either 9:00 or 9:30 (depending on day), but with two different classes. I think that’s pretty cool, but that’s just me.
After chapel and lunch, I went to American Lit. I. In the middle of class, a girl on the soccer team passed out. Apparently she had had a concussion not too long ago. The teacher and a few students took her downstairs (class is on the 3rd floor) when she woke up. The rest of the class sat in intense silence. I spoke up and asked if someone would lead a prayer for her, which I’m thankful someone did. After the teacher came back, he continued the introduction to the reading assignment and sent us on our way with homework.

I went to the Southern Oaks assisted living home with a group of students. We usually have a devotional with a group of the elderly. Since Friday was the first time we had been back since last semester, we had a singing day.

The rest of the day was spent hanging out with friends, including watching Kung Fu Panda 2.



Saturday, the school had a free carnival thing for the students. Last year, I won a fishie that died soon after. This year, I won four fishies. The first one was white and died cause I stayed outside in the heat too long. I didn’t get the chance to name him before he died, but now I call him Ghost. The other three I got later in the day and got them to an air-conditioned room. One goldfish has some black on the fins, so I called that one Hanna. Another goldfish has white on the fins, so I named that one Kandi. The last one looked like a normal goldfish, nothing extraordinary, so that one is Anna. Simple enough, nay? They’re all still alive too, so far so good.



Sunday we had a potluck after services and that evening we had a singing night.

Today I went to class not in the best of moods. Twas annoyed and tired. Didn’t help that I was having some issues getting a program I need for my computer class up and running. Besides that, I had a reading assignment that was taking me forever to finish. I got it done in time though and got through two of my classes without too much difficulty. Then I went to Physical Science. I was not looking forward to it, but now I’m actually excited for it. There’s just something really cool about a teacher with Doctor Who hair talking about time travel, black holes, aliens, and smashing rocks with hammers. He was into it. He enjoyed science and he wanted to help the students enjoy it too. Isn’t that what good teachers are supposed to do? Anyway, I’m looking forward to that class.

Always Hope!

Kryptonite – Three Doors Down

Welcome, wondering wayfarer and weary wanderer.

Salutations and joyous greetings, for to read this note is to mean that you still follow my ever shifting, yet repetitive, train of thought. If you don’t always follow the train, at least you are attempting to follow the tracks thereof. If even the tracks are too hidden, follow the footprints, for I often lose my train and have to go find it again myself.

As much as I enjoy my time here, I find myself feeling more and more worn and spent as the days go on. My usually high patience and tolerance levels are getting nearer to the brink of breaking. Sometimes I think my concern for others and/or compassion is not as prominent as it once was. I shall refrain from saying I feel like “butter scraped over too much bread.” However, I will attest to needing a long holiday. Not permanent (as much as I would or would not wish it so), just long enough to rejuvenate my being. After being enveloped in this foreign society for such an extended period of time, I need time to refocus.

It’s hard to believe that it has already been nearly an entire school year.
Crazy! Impossible! Yet true.
So much has happened in what feels has been a short time.
I’ve made more friends that I ever thought was humanly possible. I have faced challenges I refused to believe would ever exist.

In some instances, I took a leap of faith. In others, I firmly held my ground. Still others, (more than I would care to admit) I hovered over a choice, too afraid to fly and too stubborn to stay down.

In the end, I want to be able to say that I helped the many people I came in contact with, I went beyond what was asked of me, and I put forth my best effort in everything I put my hand to.
When I look back though, all I can really say is that I only did what was asked of me. There were a few times when I went the extra half a mile, perhaps even the full mile, to help a friend or even someone I knew would most likely not repay me (though I hoped they would, thus kept track of it anyway). I will be the first to admit fault, though the last to vocalize it. Perhaps I am too hard on myself.

Ah well, come, come, tis time for more lively talk.

Finals are just around the corner, but the last few weeks have been packed with more than school requirements. Some of you may yet know that I have had an ear infection in both ears for the past three weeks. The first week I pretty much ignored the irritation and assumed it to be due to the cold I had. Soon enough, the cold disappeared in importance as the pain in my ears was robbing me of music, peace, and sleep. Apparently I can be surpassingly stubborn. Finally being persuaded to see the doctor, I was given medication (not before nearly passing out and accidentally breaking a vase, but tis a story for another time) and a doctor’s note for the two classes I missed. I do believe one of the more prominent thoughts during that time was, “So this is what lightheadedness feels like. I don’t like it.” The next week, I went back and found that the infection was still there, thus was prescribed stronger antibiotics. Thankfully, the last time I went back, he said that the infection had cleared up significantly and unless the symptoms returned, I did not have to see him again. Oddly enough, I’ve been twice as quiet as I normally am in this period of time. Ah well, silence is my strong suit anyway.

Hmm, that paragraph did not sound as lighthearted as I had hoped. Let’s try again.

Last weekend, I watched the Shakespearean play “The Taming of the Shrew” and its successor, “The Woman’s Prize.” I heartily agreed to write an article for the newspaper on the play. A few of my friends were in the play, thus making the information gathering process that much easier and the play that much more enjoyable to watch. In fact, I watched the play twice. The second time I went was the last time it was to be performed. After the performance, the actors were to stay and take down the set. Once I heard whoever was in charge mention that they needed people to grab drills, I promptly asked him if I could help. His hesitance was obvious (he asked me if I was incompetent, for crying out loud :P ), though I still managed to get my hands on a drill and start unscrewing what must have been a thousand screws holding the set together. Others had drills as well, of course. I cannot tell you enough how much I had missed working with wood and power tools. The last time I had done any significantly big project with wood was when I helped my father make a waterbed frame quite a few years ago. After the set was completely dismantled, the group was off to waffle house for a cast party. I got to go with them. ^_^

Then earlier this week, I met with a Bible teacher to discuss creating a field lab for when I go home. I can now get credit hours by helping the church back home. Of course, tis more technical than that. Some requirements include a daily journal, a 2-3-page book review, and a 5-7-page paper on the history of the church in Ukraine. This will help me gain credit hours for future reference, but more importantly, I’m hoping it will help me grow spiritually. By forcing myself to step outside my comfort zone, I will now grab hold of opportunities that I would normally let pass by.

People ask why I would do such a thing. Of course, they also ask what I’m going to do with my Computer Science degree. Sometimes I wish people could see the world the way I see it. Nay, there have been many times I wished such. For one thing, it would make my having to explain the “odd” things I do less tedious. Here is where the lack of patience part comes in. Where once before I would joyfully explain things, now tis to the point that I have to keep myself from becoming frustrated with the onslaught of questions. I enjoy questions, I truly do. Even the repetitive ones, they give me a chance to say the same thing several different ways and watch people’s reactions. But with some people, I find myself mentally screaming at them to stop. Tis a very nerve wrecking experience. In one instance, I want people to be more inquisitive, yet at the same time, I wish they would leave me alone. I am obviously not an extrovert.

Ack, I stumbled upon yet another stress relieving rant. My apologies. Let us continue on the positive path.

This weekend was eventful. Last night, I attended a formal banquet at the Hard Rock café with GTO, the insane Makin’ Music club I did the show with (by the by, I included a video of our performance below). After dinner, they gave out awards to various members of the club. Then today, I attended a Ladies’ Day one of the congregations in the area was hosting. The theme was “A worry free life,” a much-needed lesson by the looks of this post. The speaker had been working in Haiti for the past 15 years. Her example and lesson on how we should give our troubles and worries to God are a good reminder of what I’m really here for. Later today, GTO hosted FHU’s first ever Quidditch tournament. Yes, you read that right. The purpose in having a Quidditch tournament was to raise money for one of the local elementary schools.

Next weekend, I am participating in a walk to raise money to help Japan. I’ve been part of the planning committee for this walk for the past month. The goal is to raise $15,000 and the walk takes place May 7th. We’ve handed out fliers, made posters, written newspaper articles, and made chapel announcements for the event. This event is in collaboration with Soles4Souls, so people can donate shoes if they want, though this effort is really a push to send financial help.
And just because I’m a team player, feel free to check out the site. Donate if you wish, I promise not to hunt you down and give you poisoned cookies if you don’t (that’s EDJ’s job).

So, as you can very well see, there have been plenty of ups and downs in the last few weeks.
I’m sure there is much more to come, especially with finals and finally going home for some. To those who have helped my through this stressful time, I only hope I have not been too intolerable in return. If I have, you only have to put up with me for a couple more weeks. I shall return to my cheerfully optimistic self when I get home.

Until then…
Always Hope.

Savin’ Me – Nickelback

Wow, long time no see…er…hear…read… something along those lines.

Life has an uncanny knack of sucking the life out of me at times.

Some days I find myself thinking, “Bring it on! I can handle anything you throw at me! Nothing can deter me from accomplishing what I set out to do.”

Then there are the days where I find myself whispering, “Save me. Please. I can’t keep this up.”

One thing I find myself wishing for recently is a pair of wings. Yes, wings. Like Hanna’s wings. Exactly like Hanna’s wings. See, they supposedly give you this awesome ability of unaided human flight. With wings, one can soar the skies, explore the mountains, and sail upon the clouds. They can give you speed and perspective. With wings, you don’t have to worry about falling. You’ll always be able to stop yourself from ever hitting the ground. With wings, you can escape dangerous situations. You can fly away from toils and heartache for a time.

On second thought, wings might not be such a great idea. With unlimited power and freedom, what’s to keep you from pride? Without fear of failure and defeat, how do you experience true perseverance and success? With such an easy escape route, what is there to teach you responsibility and dependence?

With wings, why would you need God?

*sigh* Yes, it’s been that kind of week. Granted there were some very enjoyable times throughout the week, though more often than not they get pushed to the backburner when you’re sleep deprived.

I really felt like writing something though. Every now and then you have to just take a few minutes and forget about the demands of life. Whether that is through video games, books, friends, writing, or sleeping is your choice. Well, I guess sleeping doesn’t really count because we have to do that out of necessity anyway and we can’t really say we enjoy it because we’re asleep. Unless you take a nap and have some kind of epic dream and remember it or something.

Off topic.

I know a lot of people who have had it pretty rough over the past couple weeks, this last week especially. Discouragement, just as encouragement, can spread like wildfire. It takes strong people to, not only stand against oncoming discouragement, but to turn that around and spread encouragement to those in need as well. One part of a sermon I once heard made the point that agape love is loving someone because they need it. Everyone needs to be loved and encouraged. Because we are fallible humans, it seems easier to encourage some people more than others. With some people, it’s just so much easier to ignore them than to try and say something nice to them, more so because of their own actions and attitudes than yours. They still need someone to love them, someone to help them out, especially when no one else will. That was the point of the sermon anyway.

The great thing about being a listening ear is that if you can’t find any way to help someone, at the very least, you’re there to listen. They know you’re there for them, sometimes that’s all it takes.
I came here to study for a degree, but maybe… It isn’t about the four years of studying for a degree… maybe it’s about the moments in between those years helping those you care about.

Agree? Disagree? Thoughts?

God put us when and where we are for a reason. We are what and who we are because of how we got here. God has always been there for us, whether we accepted His help or not. He is still there for us. We cannot even begin to comprehend what God has planned for us if we will accept His help.
Psalm 73; John 14:27; Phil. 4:6, 7; Jer. 1:5

Yeah, sleep deprivation gets me on a multitude of varying tangents.

On a lighter note, I stopped to think about the practicality of some of the epic battles I’ve had a hand in writing. I came to the conclusion that what Hanna lacks in common sense, she makes up for in agility.

I keep getting this longing to write again. Not school writing, hobby writing. Fun writing. Ice Sword Chronicles, Irish Rose, and Look Through My Eyes are in dire need of their author/coauthors. I really want to get back to writing with my coauthors. Maybe we’ll go on a massive writing spree over the summer and be punching out three parts a day again (not that we were really writing that much to begin with, but it felt like it). Maybe, maybe not. One can dream. For the moment, ISC stays where it is. Which may be a good thing, because one cannot rush random awesomeness without severe repercussions.

Ok, I’m calling it a night.

Send Me an Angel - Scorpions

Long couple of flights. First day of school. Farewell to my family. Greetings to my friends. A lot has happened in the past few days.

Saying goodbye to my family was hard.

I made it through airport security without too much difficulty. It wasn’t as easy as it was on the way back to Ukraine, but I can’t complain.

The first flight was about 3 hours. Landed in Amsterdam for a 5 hour layover. After taking forever to find the information desk, I finally got my boarding pass for the next flight. I sat at the gate and waited for a couple hours. The airport had free wifi for an hour, so I was able to let my parents know I got to Amsterdam without any problems. I saw a mouse in the airport. I simply stated at it for the longest time before it scuttled away. 30 minutes before they started boarding the plane, I realized they changed the gate. I found my gate and went through another security check before I waited again to board the plane. The second flight was about 10 hours long. I watched a movie, saw parts of Inception from someone else’s screen, ate interesting airplane food, and tried to sleep – mostly unsuccessfully. I had to go through security again after we landed, but it was nice finally getting through and seeing familiar faces again.


First day of class:

Lifetime wellness
Interesting teacher, full of integrity. Tiny classroom.

Management
Young teacher. ebook for a textbook. Seems like it will be like history, but less intense. The teacher called me a superhero because of my name. ^_^

English Comp II
Some of the same students from last semester, a few more intriguing ones as well. Same teacher. I sit in the front row now on the opposite side of the room. This should be interesting. Seems like it will be similar to last semester, just with more challenges.

Intro to system administration
Awesome. Same teacher as last semester. Out of only 9 students, I’m the only girl. For some reason, I feel like I have something worth proving now. I feel challenged. We’re going to be taking a computer apart and putting it back together.

Second day of class:

Programming I
Looks interesting. A bunch of students from my programming class last semester are in here. After going over the syllabus, we got our first bit of homework: writing a simple program to solve a problem. I finished the problem and sent it in. First homework for the semester: done.

Marriage and the Family
Wow, if any class is going to be an adventure, it will be this one. One moment the teacher is jokingly and lightheartedly greeting the students. The next minute, his seriousness in going over the syllabus is starting to scare me. Note: never, ever, ever call me when I’m in his class. I mean it. Ever. (OO)

Swimming
Ah, a fun class. Sweet teacher. Good group.

The third day of class, I only had one class. All the morning classes, and even chapel, were cancelled because of the ice and snow. Probably not so much for the snow as it was for the black ice.

Black Ice. Treacherous stuff, I should know.


2011 looks like it’s going to be a year full of adventure.


~ Always Hope ~

Who says you can’t go home? – Bon Jovi

Wow, what a week.

After a full half-week of exhaustion, my mind is now officially on vacation.

Monday I had an English final at 8 in the morning and an Algebra final in the afternoon.
Algebra totally killed my brain cells for the rest of that day. I almost walked into a parked car. Later that day, someone said something about having a good Monday and I sat there for a good ten seconds thinking, “…Monday? …What’s today?” I eventually ended up taking a nap, which anyone who knows me knows I detest naps for no known logical reason. >_>

Random moment:

While studying for my speech final that night, I came across this quote:

“You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.” ~ Pearl S. Buck

Ironic.

Anyway, Tuesday went exceptionally well. I actually enjoyed the speech and programming finals. I found a note in the mail that was written in Russian, which increased my day by another level of awesome. I was able to sell a few of my textbooks. Of course, it was only a fraction of the price I bought them at, but hey I got knowledge and money both out of them, I can’t complain.

Wednesday, ah that was an interesting day… So, I get up and take my History final at 8:30. I then have an Acts of the Apostles final. I was about to fall asleep just before that final. You know what saved me? Cookies. Music. Candy. It was just enough to get me past that last final. Not long after that, I spent the next 4 hours somewhat dazed. I dislike not being able to think properly, course I ignore the obvious logical solution: go to bed. Thankfully, my future roomie saved me from oblivion long enough for me to help her move the rest of her stuff to my room, go to services, and continue moving.

*flashback*

*finishes moving stuff*
Roomie: *sits on bed* Ow, your bed is hard.
Me: I like it that way. *blank look* ...Is it supposed to be softer?
Roomie: A rock is softer.
Me: *blinks* ...oh...

*end flashback*

I’m telling you, sleep depravity kills. >_>
I’m going to have to sleep in tomorrow if I expect to survive the 13 hours of travel time.

I can’t wait to get home. It’s been fun, but I am soooo ready for a break.
…now I’m just repeating myself… *shrugs*

"Been there, done that, I ain’t looking back."

~ Savvy

Home Sweet Home – Motley Crue

Finals are upon us all.

Ok, so not really upon everyone who reads this, but close enough.

I should be worried, but I’m relaxing. I should be stressed, but I’m chilling. I should be frenzied, but I’m… pacing.
Pacing: one of my favorite hobbies when I’m deep in thought.

My mind has been on shutdown today ever since my last class. Thus, I know I won’t be able to get any profitable studying in, yet I detest sitting idle for too long.

After dinner, I explored the art building for the first time, watched Home Alone for the tenth time, ran across an open field and mostly deserted street, watched people play video games, played video games with them, paced both inside and outside the dorm lobby, and started writing two new songs.

Yeah, I’m fairly certain I’m just sleep deprived at this point. At least I get to sleep in tomorrow. Oh, how I miss home. I can’t wait to go back. Not to say I don’t like it here, but home is where the heart is.

Earlier in the semester, the ever so rare breaks were closer to Everybody’s Working For The Weekend, but now I’m ready for an actual chance to Drift Away.

Hey, it could happen.


~Always Hope~

Never Going Back To Ok - The Afters

Hah, finally found some time. Well, I made some time really. It probably wouldn’t hurt to go over my notes again, but this has been on my to do list for a while. Such a thing should not have to go on a to do list, I know, but time escapes me.

So, school has come back with a vengeance. It won’t be too long now.
After a much needed break, I’m ready to get back to work. Yet at the same time, I’m ready to be done with this semester.

I’ve noticed how school has a way of severely limiting randomly creative productivity. I’ve had less time to draw or write. I think I’ve only drawn two pictures the whole time I’ve been here, which is sad. I was able to manage in a word war though. 800 something words in an hour. Talk about losing my touch.

I packed up my piano for Thanksgiving break and haven’t bothered to get it out again, considering it’s only going to be packed again in a couple weeks. I’ve only been able to practice when I make the time for it, usually when I need a productive stress reliever. Interestingly, that has been a fairly rare occurrence. Either way, one of my many locations of refuge has a piano and is just across the street from my dorm. Convenient? I’d say so.

A lot of stuff has been going on around campus. “Important” stuff. So important, I miss half of it. Like the SS people on the rooftops that I totally missed. My excuse? It was a busy day and I wasn’t looking for them. Yeah, I think I’ll stick with that. :P

Ah well, finals are coming up pretty soon. This shall be a very interesting next couple of weeks...


~ Savvy